One at a time, please.

"I'd love to know how much weight you've lost," said Ginette,
as the ego-massager buzzed gently around my cerebellum.

"Hmm," I thought. "So would I. I've been rather good the last couple of months." And I have. No margarine, very little sugar, lots of exercise.

So when I was at the gym on Friday I hopped on the scales.

Now, I may have been rubbish at maths, but I DO think you can
apply the techniques learned in your everyday life.
(Isn't that right, M? Isn't that right, Ms Hertfordshire?) Let's give this a whirl.

This is what happened when I originally frightened myself.

w(4f + 4s)(-e) = x

Where x = weight, f = fatty food, s = sugar, e = exercise
and w = weeks of trying to lose weight.

And when I jumped on the scale yesterday?

12w(1f + 0.5s)(12e) = x + 2, for God's sake!

What's that supposed to teach me? OK, so perhaps the flob is turning to muscle, but if we follow that through I'm going to end up exactly this size but unable to bend!