'Scuse me while I kiss this guy...

I've had more than enough of our national anthem this week, what with the Games on and all, but I think I might have found a way to make it bearable.
I sing my flatmate's little sister's version...

Australians all love ostriches, for we are young and free...

Infinitely preferable, I think - I don't think I'll be able to sing anything else
ever again.

She's not the first to alter a lyric in my mind forever. When I was about 13 and very into Led Zeppelin I was convinced that a line from 'Misty Mountain Hop' ran...

Crowds of people sitting on the grass with flowers in their hair said,
"Hey, boy, do you want a scone?"

Oh, how sweet of the hippies to provide snacks.
Now I can't think of it any other way.

Of course, there's our family staple - I wish my dad hadn't told me that Kenny Everett was convinced that the first line of 'Bohemian Rhapsody' was...

Is this the real life?
Is this just Battersea?

If you see me in traffic, that's what I'll be singing.