All My Friends Are Settling Into Committed Relationships

Whither Skyhooks : )

I'm surrounded. The gang around the table are pitting 'aww' against awe in a good-natured squabble for Most Romantic Performance by a Boyfriend in a New Relationship and I find myself without a casting vote. It's going to come down to individual text messages, and there's a flurry of chairs as the competitors race off to retrieve their catalogues of sweet nothings.

I am naturally delighted that the universe has chosen to be so kind to so many of my friends at once. Two are piloting the scarily combustible airship of divine intercontinental fabulousness - one has her head in the helium and the other is still trying to work out which way up the map should go. Another one has curled up comfortably in the warm glow of duplicate toothbrushes. Two others have been together so long that separating them would involve working out who gets the lung. And so it goes.

If I can ask myself if I'm going mad I am still saveable. Strangely, it's not, as you might expect, the being in Denmark or the never even having been introduced to or, really, clapped eyes on, the Danish engineering student that's keeping me away, it's the having the same name as the one who came before. About time I got locked in a lead box somewhere. About time I kicked the habit, if you take my meaning.