And you, Billy Connolly.

It's a particularly devastating kind of frustration, and it hits after you've spent hours working steadily towards something only to be irretrievably foiled at the last minute by your own carelessness. If you have ever attended a university you know what I mean. This is what happens with the assignment that's finally finished at 3:00am. As your cursor wriggles ecstatically towards the print button Word, having functioned flawlessly for nearly 12 hours, suddenly loses the will to live and performs an illegal operation to get it all over and done with. Your whole 3,000 words (and now you realise, of course, that never had you written so fluidly, so intelligently in all your life) has been reduced to a pile of 1s and 0s in the bottom of some random and unreachable binary bin. But that's OK, isn't it? In between making cups of coffee, animating the Word Assistant and running the word count, every 15 minutes you've been diligently making backup copies of your genius, haven't you?

OF COURSE YOU BLOODY HAVEN'T.

This thing needs a name, and I've decided to call it 'an attack of McGinty'.

Allow me to explain. I spent most of last night loading tracks onto the mp3 player I've bought for my dad, who's about to have the dubious privilege of spending a week face down in a hospital bed while his kidneys get over being sliced open. Not having one of these deelies of my own, I was very proud of the progress I was making, and even more impressed with my antique laptop for standing up to the strain. 173 files in, however, I noticed I'd misnamed Billy Connolly's song about a train ride. Well, that was easily fixed. All I had to do was right-click on it, type in the new name...and watch in horror as ALL 173 FILES RENAMED THEMSELVES 'MCGINTY'. And that includes, ladies and gentlemen, all the config sys files that make the little sod work.

One of the essential parts of the attack of McGinty is the ridiculous silent angry dance you do around the room after you realise the extent of the damage. I didn't let you down. It took another two hours to go back, listen to the first few seconds of each song and manually type in its correct name and another hour of searching on the Net to get my device drivers back. And the nail in the coffin... Well, you've guessed, haven't you? The bloody song isn't even CALLED McGinty!