Shocking

I think I'm beginning to understand how laboratory mice must feel in those conditioned response experiments. You know - the mouse learns by way of a small electric shock not to go through certain doors, eat certain food, blah blah. IT WORKS, DAMMIT! Almost everything I touch at offline a the moment gives me a shock.

In the past hour I've been zapped by:
- the door catch
- my headphones
- the frame of a whiteboard
- the television remote
AND THE SINK, FOR CHRIST'S SAKE!

My responses are well and truly conditioned. I'm scared to touch ANYTHING.

I know already that I'm a reasonably charged person - you know I stop most watches. But it's entering 'debilitating' when, even though I'm moisturised to the gills, I stop and think seriously about whether I really want to use a stapler... Help!