Autopilot

Either I'm living with a masochistic sub-conscious, or it has a far better idea of what's going on than I do.

I'm having problems being awake when I'm needed. Last week when we went to inspect the house, I woke up three minutes before I was supposed to be at Ginette's. I was nearly at Enoggera before I managed to prise my eyelids apart. (Comprehensive insurance, anyone?) Now, before any of you get the wrong impression, I must stress that I had set my alarm. Well, nearly. I...fell asleep setting it.

On Monday I was booked in for a dental check-up, and at what seemed like the crack of dawn I was rudely awoken by the phone. When I'd hung up, just as I was about to fall back into bed, I thought, "Perhaps I'll just check the time. After all, maybe my alarm is just about to sound." Not about to sound. Had already sounded, an hour and a half ago. I had 15 minutes to conduct an emergency floss and rinse before I was due at the dentist's.

Not that I should have bothered. Sat in the chair, three of the dentist's fingers in my mouth.
"So, Jeanette, we're going to extract these molars, is that it?" Panic.
"Uh-uh. Nod Jened."
"I'm sorry?"
"Careb. Careb. Nod Jened! NOD JENED!"
My appointment was for Thursday. It knew!

This morning it gave me slightly more warning. I woke up a whole 20 minutes before I was supposed to pick up Ginette to sign our lease. Fine. My alarm had gone off an hour before. It appears either I can turn the damn thing off in my sleep or I can sleep through a frisky gavotte and a Texan accent. "It's 7:45am. Please hurry." Head under the tap, roll-on under the armpits and we're off.

This afternoon, in between Vince's class and work, I thought I'd sit myself outside somewhere and catch up on some readings for international politics. I drove down to the river, found a shady tree and spread myself out under it. I woke up again at 3.35 genuinely amazed that no-one had nicked my shoes/handbag/glasses and with ten minutes to get to work. God knows I probably need the sleep, but...

Either it knows when to wake me up or it's a bastard.