Someone Moved My Chicken

I refuse to believe it's been bought.

In the display window of a hardware-cum-antique shop in my neck of the woods there's a display of twee stained glass stuff - mock-Tiffany lamps and the like - and a couple of months ago my heart was captured by an almost sublimely ugly stained glass light-up chicken. Powered poultry. Love at first sight. Just the sort of totally inappropriate purchase that I get excited about. It could sit next to the porn lamp. They could share illuminating stories. (Everyone's a comedian.)

But it's gone. I can barely believe my eyes. There's now a small and not nearly as hideous ladybug lamp in its place. Perhaps it was vandalised or stolen as a favour to the sensitive among us. Who else but your devoted author would buy a chicken lamp?